The Good, the Bad, and the Poodoo: Star Wars Aliens, Ranked

Jar Jar Binks is kind of a walking macroaggression, if we're being honest. But at best, he's an unnecessarily annoying character that serves as a ham-fisted attempt to make children laugh.

His tom-foolery stomped all over the tone of The Phantom Menace, belittling the story and its dramatic beats. And I don't know if anyone can disagree that he had way too much screen time.

As a villain, hateable is pretty much the goal. And Jabba the Hutt definitely succeeds.

Besides being an arrogant intergalactic crime lord, he's also generally gross to look at, depicted as a greasy, gluttonous slug. And why wouldn't we hate the guy that displayed a carbonite captured Han Solo like decorations and chained Leia up like… well, a much more misogynistic take on decorations.

It's pretty easy to find reasons to hate Watto. If being a slave owner in general wasn't enough, he keeps Shmi and Anakin Skywalker compliant with explosive transponder chips.

Some argue that Watto's character is built upon anti-semitic stereotypes, but like Jar Jar Binks, it's impossible to know the creator's intentions. Still, intended or not, it doesn't make you feel great.

Burrowed deep in the sand, we don't see too much of Sarlaacs besides their teeth. While these beasts are a classic, they just don't do too much—which also lends a bit to how terrifying they are. These carnivorous killers take a thousand years to digest their food, making them a particularly painful and tormenting way to die.

Their combination of visually “meh” and narratively horrific earn them this low spot on the list.

This sibling duo of Twi'lek mercenaries came off very one-note and grating to me. While spotting the ubiquitous alien race in Star Wars usually delights me, these twins' nonstop aggression and disloyalty wasn't a very engaging conflict in an otherwise exciting series. Formulaic one-offs, I found them easy to hate.

In the original trilogy, Tusken Raiders are more of a one-dimensional race that operates on immediate hostility and violence. They're a typical roadblock, easy to dismiss, but not really meant to be liked.

However, The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett made a lot of progress in fleshing them out in nuanced and interesting ways. Developing from brutal antagonists into complex and misunderstood nomads, Tusken Raiders gained a more sympathetic portrayal as a desperate culture fighting to survive.

With an early steampunk vibe before the aesthetic's time, these guys don't have an overly creative look, though it's practical. This, paired with the fact that it took way too long to get a peek behind the curtain, earns them a lower spot on the list.

For the most part, Gamorreans are pretty much just fight fodder. They're largely dim-witted mercenaries and guards that never win any fights against anyone important.

Yet another race that gets a closer look in later material, their design concept still boils down to “What if pigs were people, but green?”

This little guy is undoubtedly nasty, stealing food, mocking people, and trying to blind droids. But his puppety nature is still kind of endearing, and who can resist a name like Salacious B. Crumb?

On one hand, his life depends on being annoying enough to keep Jabba from eating him. On the other, his laugh is sinister and grating.

Whether you love to hate him or hate to love him, he's an icon either way.

In my opinion, Sebulba is an aggressively okay Star Wars alien. Undoubtedly an antagonist to a young and bushy-tailed Anakin, Sebulba was a podracer that would win at any cost. That usually included cheating in a variety of brutal ways.

However, he wasn't really a villain in any big picture capacity.

Jerky attitude aside, as a Dug, Sebulba's design is pretty cool. He walks with his hands and pilots with his feet, giving him a very unique and alien (duh) anatomy. 

Of course the alien that sparked the “Han shot first” debate has to be on this list. While this impulsive bounty hunter doesn't have much of a character, he does have a striking and highly recognizable character design.

Overall, he's a middling Star Wars alien. But he's still a staple of pop culture.

Serving as a representation of the brutal and wild landscape of the ice planet Hoth, Wampa are basically alien yetis. They're vicious and predatory, but also pretty clever, using ice to store meals for later.

They don't add much to the plot, but are still a nice addition to the lore.

Also native to the icy Hoth are these reptomammals. They're much friendlier than Wampas, often acting as mounts around the planet. They are, however, famously stinky.

These creatures are so warm and insulated that Han Solo sliced a dead one open to keep Luke warm.

While Lady Frog was only in two episodes of The Mandalorian, she had an emotional and high stakes storyline that has cemented her as a fan favorite. But at the same time, girl, keep a better eye on those eggs, please.

Delivering both touching and comedic moments, her big glassy eyes go a long way in making her endearing. And while I know I criticized Gamorreans for just being pig people, frog people are much cuter…

Ewoks get a lot of unnecessary hate in the Star Wars fandom. I like that they're cute, commercialism be damned. The argument that they're too childlike for the tone of the original trilogy seems silly to me, as a lot of the surrounding aliens have their own cartoonish qualities.

Besides being cute, they're killer masterminds too, which is kind of messed up, but also kind of awesome.

These tiny droidsmiths are pretty widely beloved, both for the chaos and comedy they bring to the screen. If a droid is broken and they can't fix it, no one can. And you can bet they'll be kind of weirdly adorable while they do it.

I, for one, haven't been able to stop saying, “No squeezie… bad baby,” since the quote first aired in The Mandalorian.

When I was a kid, the Jawas in the original trilogy gave me the creeps. But I have a deeper appreciation for them now, helped largely in part to their inclusion in The Mandalorian.

They're iconic staples of the franchise, and on top of that, they're crafty little survivors that have been given a richly developed culture of scavenging and trading. However, to some, their tendency to steal important parts right when characters need them most can be grating.

Still, I think they deserve a relatively high place of honor on this list for how they influence the plot authentically and have several layers of nuance to their behavior.

Porgs are another polarizing figure in the Star Wars universe, though the fandom tends to cut them a lot more slack than they ever have for the Ewoks.

A lot of people think they were added into the sequel trilogy to sell merchandise, and I think the fact that a ton of porg merchandise was immediately cranked out makes that pretty transparent. Still, many appreciate that they weren't overused, and when they were on screen, they had a charming knack for comedic timing.

And really, that porg merch flew off the shelves for a reason.

Grand Admiral Thrawn is a master tactician, destroying his enemies by thoroughly studying their cultures. Unlike many other villains in the franchise, he employs more intellectual attacks rather than subjugating people by brute force.

He's certainly a fan favorite villain, because, even though he can be short and ruthless with incompetent subordinates, his motivations are a bit easier to understand. The Star Wars universe is one that favors humans over alien species, and Thrawn ultimately has his peoples' fate on his mind.

So, even though he's a major antagonist, he's one we really love to hate, and an A+ formidable foe.

Yes, we love Admiral Gial Ackbar for his sharp military prowess. But let's be honest, he's got a massive cult following for the delivery of his iconic, “It's a trap!”—perhaps one of the most quotable lines from the entire franchise.

Besides his meme fame, his species has a wonderful character design. They're fish-like enough that it's understood they're from an aquatic planet, but not over the top so as to be goofy. Plus, Mon Calamari is a remarkable name for a water-based species.

Kuiil was a major stand out in The Mandalorian. With a complex and gripping backstory, Kuiil was a wise, loyal, and dignified Ugnaught. Freedom and peace were deeply important to him, and he believed in bringing tranquility back to the world—so much so that he turned a deadly bounty hunter droid into a nurturing nanny.

And with his iconic “I have spoken” catchphrase, he's definitely made a mark in Star Wars canon.

Darth Maul has a sick design and is pretty cool for someone so evil. His swagger makes it impossible to put him anywhere but near the top in a Star Wars ranking. But still, he's a villain, so he can't be too high up there.

While we're not forgiving him for killing Qui-Gon Jinn and Satine Kryze anytime soon, his character is given a lot of depth in The Clone Wars and Rebels that really fleshed him out as a vengeful and tragic character.

For his nuance (and largely in part to his rad double-bladed light saber), he comes in at number five.

Yoda is one of the most recognizable characters—let alone aliens—from the Star Wars franchise. From his wrinkly green design to his inverted speech, even people who haven't seen a single movie in the series know who he is.

While in the original trilogy Yoda is a masterwork of puppetry, he loses some cool factor when he becomes a CGI abomination in the prequel trilogy. But his wisdom and mastery of the force still grants him a high place among franchise aliens.

He is a brilliant (if not mischievous) teacher.

And I also can't get the satirical seagull song out of my head, adding to my affection for this little guy.

Ahsoka Tano is, in my opinion, one of the coolest characters in Star Wars, maturing and developing naturally and with nuance over time. She's generally regarded as a grating and childish character in her first appearance in the animated film Star Wars: The Clone Wars. However, when she returns for the like-titled series and Rebels, she is fleshed out into a more self-reliant, emotionally developed, and skilled warrior.

I loved seeing her in live action, and turn my nose up at the naysayers saying she's an overused character. I would like to see 200% more of her, actually.

Come on, who else did you expect to see here? Chewbacca is the original ride or die.

Like a really big shaggy dog, Chewie really is man's best friend. Or at least he's Han Solo's best friend. Man's best co-pilot?

Even though our favorite Wookie never speaks in a human language, his comedic timing is unmatched, and I love to see him and Han bicker like an old married couple.

With formidable strength, relentless loyalty, and a whole lotta guts, Chewbacca is truly one of the greats.

Maybe this is controversial, maybe it isn't, but Grogu is the GOAT. I would die for him.

An artful combination of animatronic puppet and CGI, Grogu is quite possibly the cutest thing to ever grace a television screen. With big black eyes like wet marbles and pudgy little grabby hands, I fell in love with him in seconds.

He's greedy, rude, and can't listen to save his life. And he's absolutely perfect.

He does also happen to be extremely loyal, loving, and clever. On top of that, he is remarkably powerful—and twice as brave. He was strong-willed enough to follow his own path, a choice that allowed him to embrace the bonds of family.

I am so fond of the colloquial baby Yoda that, upon finishing The Mandalorian, I lamented out loud, “What am I gonna do now? Just think about him?”

Featured image: Lucasfilm; Casey Horner/Unsplash